Feveret gai (Favourite Guy)

'I've lied,
If i've told you how I felt
There's no words that could reveal'

- The Daylights Happy

7 Jun 1992, my favourite guy's birthday. Yes memang selalu aku lupa tarikh tarikh spesel orang termasuk tarikh lahir diorang, tapi sebab dia favourite guy aku, the only favourite football player, aku ingat juga kekeke. Itu pun lambat hampir setengah jam, maaf pun macam tak guna dah. Hehe, tapi nak mintak maaf jugak.

This guy, I see he has a big vision. Macam kita semua, mungkin belum nampak future yang jelas tapi  we have something that we want to achieve, we will achieve, we should achieve. His determination, I can see it. =) Untuk mudah berputus asa, bukanlah dia. Untuk mencapai sesuatu yang dimahukan, itu adalah dia. At times, I pray that I could be as strong as him, to not easily get down, to not be easily disappointed at something that we expect too much from, to not just sit there and do nothing, to look forward and think of something that could be improved and learn from mistakes. Mistakes by mistakes, disappointments and discouragement, I once pray that I have the spirit like he has. Yet it hurts to see when he's down and I'm not able to help him with anything that I should do, to let him heal by himself and be stronger than before on the next day. 

(Omputih siot)

Satu lagi, aku percaya dia akan berjaya to be a good man, with/without aku, pasti dia boleh satu hari nanti. Sebab aku nampak semangat dia, semangat untuk improve and be a better person. Lagi, he's a good brother and a good family member. It touches me to see that he really pentingkan keluarga and it made me realize that I'm not doing enough for my family as he is. Taking care of each family member, be strong for them, and always be there for them. (cerita pasal keluarga aku memang lemah) Because semua tu made me think that I should work hard too, for my family.

Secara tak langsung he motivates me, mungkin boleh jadi motivator aku. Kikiki, sebab Im not good with words, and I don't know how to express what I feel, tapi he could find the right words to make me feel semangat again. One thing that is important, this favourite guy of mine could see me like no one else could. Setinggi mana aku bina dinding supaya tidak dibolosi oleh orang lain, dia berjaya. 

Hey feveret gai (favourite guy) terima kasih atas segala kata-kata semangat mahupun kata-kata perlian (dia pro bab ni) atau kata-kata pedas (-.-) anda. Mungkin sometimes I act like I don't listen, but each and every time that words made me feel like I should do better next time. Maybe I don't have any improvement on myself (sigh), but I know you have. 

Because each and every day, I start to believe more in you. 

Bak kata Go Mi Nam dalam cerita You're Beautiful (Ha'ah korea sebab cuti ni memang tu kerja aku wakaka) 'Thanks for being born' Tuhan jadikan kita bersebab, untuk jadi khalifah yang baik di muka bumi ini. Untuk jadi orang baik-baik. 

Selamat hari jadi yang ke dua puluh, walaupun I wished agak lambat, and made you feel disappointed even you're not admitting it. Sebab aku tak ada good words to confront people, so I wrote this. Moga usia awak yang dua puluh ini menjadikan awak lebih semangat untuk berusaha menjadi orang yang berguna, orang yang baik baik. Ye memang la anda kata anda gangster, tahu dah. kuikui. May you lead a healthy life, dimurahkan rezeki dan dipanjangkan umur. 

Mungkin boleh juga rajin belajar sikit? Kikikikiki gurau awak. 

Post geli ni boleh jadi lagi panjang, tapi cukup cukup sudah, cukup sampai di sini sajaaaaaaaa *nyanyi* 

If you read this, mintak maaf. Untuk semua. 

To see you happy is my happiness. But Im afraid you're not smiling on your special birthday like this because of me. 

Salam semua! Bye.

'When the visions around you 

Bring tears to your eyes 

And all that surrounds you 

Are secrets and lies 

I'll be your strength 

I'll give you hope 

Keeping your faith when it's gone'