Maaf

..Sebab semua salah aku, aku yang bagi harapan.

Harapan untuk kau yang aku ni terbaik buat kau, tapi sebenarnya bukan.

Jadi aku fikir, ini salah aku, semuanya.

Maaf, tapi aku masih perlu engkau itu untuk aku.

Namun ternyata mimpi yang dia punya, berbeza. Berbeza

-Tolong Aku, The Rain

It's Ovah!

What I meant was, the final examination for this semester is ovah! Berakhir sudah semester empat untuk degree ni. Itu pun kalau lepas pointer..just the thought of it makes me scared. Semester ini sangat tough, sangat ok. Disebabkan hampir menjadi gila menjawab paper especially paper Management Accounting dengan Financial Accounting, we planned a lil' trip to Genting! Pada asalnya plan ni hanyalah plan untuk housemates, tapi at the last minute, a few classmates had joined too =)

Tapi ku kuciwa sebab tak dapat main buai dekat theme park tu (Spinner) sebab weekly maintenance =( , and a few rides yang aku tak naik sebab tak kuat semangat lagi nak naik wahaha. DAN setelah beberapa tahun tak masuk rumah hantu, aku dipaksa jugak untuk masuk dan menyesal sebab tiket dah beli. Luckily rumah hantu tu se-scary mana as what I thought. Tapi jerit tetap jerit, siap buat pis dekat hantu tu sebab taknak  bagi dia kacau haha. Overall it was fun, masa pergi haritu kabus sangat tebal, sangat windy, sangat sejuk! =)


Pictures time! Macam biasa lah.

Gambar sebelum bertolak. Boleh pulak sesat pagi tu! We arrived a few minutes sebelum pukul 8 - waktu bas bertolak. Nak gugur jantung kejar masa he he 

Kereta kabel! Kebus kebussssssssss :-D

Gaisssssss

Gerlsssssssss. Tapi tak cukup gerls dalam gambar ni

Takda motif. 

 Ni bapak kitorang :p

Sian..tak cukup tinggi :p 

Space Shot yang mengerikan

Adlina dan Ayie

Tukang jaga beg saat yang lain naik Flying Coaster

 

Can you believe it? Ayie tak berlengan pendek! Cuaca bukan sejuk biasa tapi sejuk gila! Ayie the powerest =)

Hehe it's been a long time since I went to a trip with friends. Looking forward for the next trip InsyaAllah.


Bye!

Honest Opinion

Sometimes, people got into relationship expecting that they could change the other person's heart, to a better person. And many people got disappointed because it's nearly an impossible thing to do - to change their heart. 

I just believe that if a relationship could make partners change for better, knowing that each other is improving to be better, it will be the happiest feeling ever. Beautiful =') 

And I am truly sorry I was not there to help you to walk through a better road. Until today I'm at fault, and I let you go. 

:)

Masih hidup

Ya, masih hidup lagi blog ni rupanya. Tuan blog juga masih hidup Alhamdulillah keke.

Randoms -

1. I'm facing my finals, for the first time in my degree. 3 papers down, 3 more to go which will be on this Friday. Entah kenapa semester ni risau betul. Semester lepas2 pun risau je tapi ni risau lebih. Mungkin sebab dah masuk degree lepas tu paper dia killer betul, macam FAR haritu. Tawakal saja yang mampu sekarang ni.

2. I miss driving. Baru ingat nak drive balik cuti semester ni, tahu-tahu Ibu kata kereta teruk sebab eksiden. So no car this holiday..hancussssssssss.

3. Everyday I pray to be given strength.

4. Sekolah sudah bermula, aku dekat rumah sewa, dua orang adik lagi dah masuk asrama. So yang tinggal dekat rumah sekarang hanyalah adik yang pelik kecik sekali, baru masuk jajah satu :') Tinggallah si cikenit seorang teman Ibu & Ayah dekat rumah hihihihi.

5. Termimpi-mimpi untuk memiliki instax..



Itu saja. Assalamualaikum!

It's Only A Matter of Time

'I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no'


- Always be My Baby, David Cook

One of my favourite songs, and will always be. 

I just don't want the story behind this song to repeat again

BERHABUK HABUK HABUK HABUK HABUK

My last update was in August?! Seriesli saya rindu nak berblogging :-( Entah macam mana sekarang dah macam tak banyak idea nak tulis apa, takda life mungkin? I iz sad. 

Masih ada ke orang nak baca blog ni? *bergema*

Sepanjang aku tak hapdet blog ni, macam-macam juga lah yang berlaku, dan sekarang dah masuk degree dah pun hihi. Degree part 4 agak boring, dan aku rasa akan boring untuk semester2 yang seterusnya. Feel dia lain dengan waktu belajar time diploma, enjoy lagi even banyak esaimen. The most recent thing that happened was my diploma graduation!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 

Dapat juga snap sehelai dua gambar disebabkan terlalu rimas dengan kepadatan manusia dekat luar dewan. Gambar studio pun tak ambik heuheu, maybe next time bila degree pula :-) Thanks juga kepada yang bagi bunga haha me like and me love 'em!

Untuk sekarang itulah kot yang aku nak apdet, ya Allah takda ilham langsung. Bye!

(curi gambar Sarah)

Classmates untuk degree part 4!

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAI 

*nangis*

RINDU =D

tuesdays with morrie by Mitch Albom

I love to read...or I don't. I love to read..but when I have the mood to read hihi. And this book I'm about to share its quotes is recommended by my friend, and it was a very inspiring and a heartwarming story. And thin, too. So tak adalah keberatan nak baca kekekeke. This book is about the author's old professor which suffered ALS (tak ingat nama panjangnya) and was dying. Eventhough he suffered a terrible disease, he had this wonderful stories about life, how he coped with his sickness, how he faced life with such humble. To the author, he was his teacher =)

Here are some quotes. Since aku jarang membaca, bila sekali rasa nak membaca and found out that buku ni adalah best dan patut dibaca oleh awak-awak jugak hee. Tak tebal nipis je :p 

1. “The truth is, once you learn how to die, you learn how to live.”

2. “If you hold back on the emotions--if you don't allow yourself to go all the way through them--you can never get to being detached, you're too busy being afraid. You're afraid of the pain, you're afraid of the grief. You're afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your heard even, you experience them fully and completely.”

3. “Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do one thing, but you are bound to do somehing else. Something hurts you, yet you know it shouldn't. You take certain things for granted, even when you know you should never take anything for granted.”

4. "Wherever I went in my life, I met people wanting to gobble up something new. Gobble up a new car. Gobble up a new piece of property. Gobble up the latest toy. And then they wanted to tell you about it. 'Guess what I got? Guess what I got?'
You know how I interpreted that? These were people so hungry for love that they were accepting substitutes. They were embracing material things and expecting a sort of hug back. But it never works. You can't substitute material things for love or for gentleness or for tenderness or for a sense of comradeship."
"Money is not a substitute for tenderness, and power is not a substitute for tenderness. I can tell you, as I'm sitting here dying, when you most need it, neither money nor power will give you the feeling you're looking for, no matter how much of them you have.”

5. “The fact is, there is no foundation, no secure ground, upon which people may stand today if it isn’t the family. If you don’t have the support and love and caring and concern that you get from a family, you don’t have much at all. Love is so supremely important. As our great poet Auden said, ‘Love each other or perish’.” 

6. “Take any emotion—love for a woman, or grief for a loved one, or what I’m going through, fear and pain from a deadly illness. If you hold back on the emotions—if you don’t allow yourself to go all the way through them—you can never get to being detached, you’re too busy being afraid. You’re afraid of the pain, you’re afraid of the grief. You’re afraid of the vulnerability that loving entails. “But by throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely. You know what pain is. You know what love is. You know what grief is. And only then can you say, ‘All right. I have experienced that emotion. I recognize that emotion. Now I need to detach from that emotion for a moment’.”

We all need a good teacher in life =) Who's/what's your teacher?

Pre Grad Dinner 2012

Nak apdet lama dah, tapi biasalah.. Kekekeke. Ini adalah apdet pasal Pre Grad Dinner sabtu lepas punya lepas. Jujur sejujur jujurnyaaaaaaaaaaa masa awal-awal tak bersemangat pun nak pergi. Baju semua tak cari pun, tapi sebab Sarah naak sangat pergi so kita pun OK la :p Hehehehe, a few days before dinner baru lah terhegeh-hegeh takda handbag pouch lah hape. So that night, I went dengan simple gila punya baju and yang lain mostly sponsored by Ibu. :P She saved my life haha. 

What I could conclude from this event is....IT WAS AWESOME =D Mostly because I didn't expect anything like the flashmob which was very cool and surprised me, aww. And the performances also, menghiburkan =3 It was totally a night to remember, siapa yang tak datang rugi jugak kot sebenarnya? Rugi sikit la sebab it was a dinner untuk batch kita before graduation Diploma :') And everyone else were sho pwetty with dresses and all, auuuu! 

Here's the pictures, curi dari photographer2 ya? Hihi

It's me being my, myself and I. Sometimes I hate it when I want to tell everything, just everything that I think needed to be expressed, to voice out what I really want to say, but it ended up with silence. Less words, many things still running through my mind, but as much as I hate it, I still can't change it.

Do you really want to hear what I feel? Can you bear with all the things I;m going to say, bursting out everything that has been kept for a long time and expressing the screams of my heart?


Can you bear it?




When I thought that I'm going to spill everything and even explaining every single details that I wanted you to hear, to digest and just be silent while I'm expressing the feelings and words that have been locked in my heart, the moment I open my mouth, everything that I thought I wanted to say, disappeared.



Putting aside small yet important things that I should've expressed, I become numb.

Nak ke tandas pun macam-macam cerita

Padah bila dekat Petronas yang kecik tandas dia pun kecik, ada satu je. Satu untuk lelaki, satu untuk perempuan. Saya dan Ibu saya nak ke tandas, nak masuk tandas perempuan tu, tetiba ada lelaki berdehem. 'EHEMMM' atau bunyi lain la tapi yang pasti suara lelaki, garau betoi. Ibu dan saya saling berpandangan, mungkin lelaki tu tak tahan sangat so kena la guna tanda perempuan, sebab tandas lelaki yang satu tu ada orang lain. Ok tunggu lah sekejap.

Aik, lima minit sudah. Orang yang dekat tandas lelaki pun dah bertukar-tukar orang. Bunyi paip pun takda. Kuikui, takpalah mungkin urusan yang sangat penting, takpelah. 

Sekali datang seorang lelaki hemsem, tunggu turn nak masuk tandas, tunggu punya tunggu lepas tu lelaki hemsem tu berkata 'OIII KELUAR LAAAAAAAAA' Orang tu pun keluar, 

'Aik, mana *insert nama rakan dia di sini*?' Aku dan Ibu saling berpandangan. 

Lelaki hemsem cakap dekat kami 'Oh saya ingat tadi kawan saya, tu saya saja suruh dia keluar, tengok tengok yang keluar orang lain. Hihihihi *malu*' Rupanya kawan dia tu ada dalam tandas perempuan yang dari tadi tak keluar-keluar tu. Oh. 

Selesai urusan lelaki hemsem, dia pun beredar. Kawannya yang satu ni la yang tak keluar-keluar lagi. Kadang-kadang ada bunyi paip tu. Mungkin memang penting urusannya hihi. Takpelah.

Tunggu punya tunggu, dari celah mana datang seorang.....wanita bersiul dan ceri menyanyi2 dengan rambutnya yang menggerbang, pun nak masuk toilet jugak. Aku tahu dia bukan wanita pure sebab dia pergi jenguk tandas lelaki penuh ke tak... Bila tengok tandas lelaki occupied, Sambil bersiul2 dia pergi dekat cermin dekat tandas perempuan dan touch up sikit2. Keluar tandas pun bersiul dan menyanyi sambil senyum dekat saya. Err, senyumlah balik tapi dalam keadaan kenpius. Hepi kemain 'wanita' itu. 

Selepas bergilir-gilir kaum lelaki keluar masuk tandas, akhirnya dengarlah bunyi orang nak bukak pintu dari tandas perempuan tu. Akhirnya dia keluar. Saya dan Ibu mengagak bahawa mungkin dia malu untuk keluar sebab dengar suara perempuan ke apa, so kami beredar jauh sikit dari tandas tu, biar dia keluar dengan aman. 

Barulah nampak kelibat seorang lelaki keluar dari tandas tu. Setelah bermacam-macam iklan saya dan Ibu tengok. Masuk-masuk tandas nampak iklan jugak $*(!#)%&* 

Cuci tak bersih ke apa. Siot betul.

Sekian cerita pendek saya, menulis sementara menunggu Ibu dan Ayah bersiap. Nak keluar. Kuikui

Bye, salam.

Apasal aku rasa useless gila ah? 

Feveret gai (Favourite Guy)

'I've lied,
If i've told you how I felt
There's no words that could reveal'

- The Daylights Happy

7 Jun 1992, my favourite guy's birthday. Yes memang selalu aku lupa tarikh tarikh spesel orang termasuk tarikh lahir diorang, tapi sebab dia favourite guy aku, the only favourite football player, aku ingat juga kekeke. Itu pun lambat hampir setengah jam, maaf pun macam tak guna dah. Hehe, tapi nak mintak maaf jugak.

This guy, I see he has a big vision. Macam kita semua, mungkin belum nampak future yang jelas tapi  we have something that we want to achieve, we will achieve, we should achieve. His determination, I can see it. =) Untuk mudah berputus asa, bukanlah dia. Untuk mencapai sesuatu yang dimahukan, itu adalah dia. At times, I pray that I could be as strong as him, to not easily get down, to not be easily disappointed at something that we expect too much from, to not just sit there and do nothing, to look forward and think of something that could be improved and learn from mistakes. Mistakes by mistakes, disappointments and discouragement, I once pray that I have the spirit like he has. Yet it hurts to see when he's down and I'm not able to help him with anything that I should do, to let him heal by himself and be stronger than before on the next day. 

(Omputih siot)

Satu lagi, aku percaya dia akan berjaya to be a good man, with/without aku, pasti dia boleh satu hari nanti. Sebab aku nampak semangat dia, semangat untuk improve and be a better person. Lagi, he's a good brother and a good family member. It touches me to see that he really pentingkan keluarga and it made me realize that I'm not doing enough for my family as he is. Taking care of each family member, be strong for them, and always be there for them. (cerita pasal keluarga aku memang lemah) Because semua tu made me think that I should work hard too, for my family.

Secara tak langsung he motivates me, mungkin boleh jadi motivator aku. Kikiki, sebab Im not good with words, and I don't know how to express what I feel, tapi he could find the right words to make me feel semangat again. One thing that is important, this favourite guy of mine could see me like no one else could. Setinggi mana aku bina dinding supaya tidak dibolosi oleh orang lain, dia berjaya. 

Hey feveret gai (favourite guy) terima kasih atas segala kata-kata semangat mahupun kata-kata perlian (dia pro bab ni) atau kata-kata pedas (-.-) anda. Mungkin sometimes I act like I don't listen, but each and every time that words made me feel like I should do better next time. Maybe I don't have any improvement on myself (sigh), but I know you have. 

Because each and every day, I start to believe more in you. 

Bak kata Go Mi Nam dalam cerita You're Beautiful (Ha'ah korea sebab cuti ni memang tu kerja aku wakaka) 'Thanks for being born' Tuhan jadikan kita bersebab, untuk jadi khalifah yang baik di muka bumi ini. Untuk jadi orang baik-baik. 

Selamat hari jadi yang ke dua puluh, walaupun I wished agak lambat, and made you feel disappointed even you're not admitting it. Sebab aku tak ada good words to confront people, so I wrote this. Moga usia awak yang dua puluh ini menjadikan awak lebih semangat untuk berusaha menjadi orang yang berguna, orang yang baik baik. Ye memang la anda kata anda gangster, tahu dah. kuikui. May you lead a healthy life, dimurahkan rezeki dan dipanjangkan umur. 

Mungkin boleh juga rajin belajar sikit? Kikikikiki gurau awak. 

Post geli ni boleh jadi lagi panjang, tapi cukup cukup sudah, cukup sampai di sini sajaaaaaaaa *nyanyi* 

If you read this, mintak maaf. Untuk semua. 

To see you happy is my happiness. But Im afraid you're not smiling on your special birthday like this because of me. 

Salam semua! Bye.

'When the visions around you 

Bring tears to your eyes 

And all that surrounds you 

Are secrets and lies 

I'll be your strength 

I'll give you hope 

Keeping your faith when it's gone' 

Kacau

There's a day where everything we do/heard/say make us sad, a feeling that stabs our heart, a pain felt deep inside, don't know where they come from, but our heart just feels so sad. Crazy. Even a simple thing/ a thing that people won't bother, matters so much to us. And I hate that, the feelings developed when something merely happened but I made it a big deal, my heart sank.

Because I lost to even the littlest things I imagined/said/did, I just can't help it
Because I let those bad feelings and bad thoughts to keep appearing in my mind, they just won't go away.



Finally it comes to this, is there any people that trusts me? Anyone that trusted me?





Because now I don't think those people...trust me.




Till the next post, Assalamualaikum



Laptop lagging, takda mood nak blogwalking pun T.T

I've been cursed

Assalamualaikum!

Rindunyaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa rindunya rindunya blog :'D Cuti ni baru bukak harini, after two weeks of holidays. Ramai dok tanya bila nak apdet, sian blog ni terbengkalai. One thing about this blog, tak pernah terfikir nak delete pun berbanding dengan Twitter yang banyak kali aku fikir nak deactivate.


Twitter dah jauhkan aku dari blog ni, I express most by tweets..


Sepanjang cuti ni, aku rasa tak ada satu hari pun hari yang produktif -.- Dan aku sangatlah malas nak keluar, faktor paling utama adalah tak ada duit. Kuikui, sekarang melepet je dekat rumah (macam biasa) so tak ada benda nak share sangat selain drama-drama Korea yang aku dah tengok cuti ni, videos of Shinee yang aku tengok dekat youtube, gitar yang aku main tiap-tiap hari, lagu yang dishuffle dekat playlist. Tidur pun aku rasa dah terlebih-lebih, ni bukan revenge time belajar lagi dah, sebab dilanda kebosanan -.-

Aiyoh, I hope this coming two weeks, or maybe weekends je la, ada benda produktif sikit nak buat.



I'll share some stories nanti, bye!





PS : I can't stop browsing Shinee's videos, adorable sangat. Tsk, help.

Hi blog saya!!!!! Hi pembaca *krik krik*


K.. bagi menghilangkan ngantuk sebab baca Audit yang..agak seronok ni, I want to post a few pictures, random pictures yang di-capture using my Androidz. Kena rempit sikit, Androidz.

Ok jom lah tengok (nampak tak yang sebenarnya orang yang tulis ni dah takda modal nak apdet pasal apa)

Terapi

Salah satu sebab aku suka browse Korean music videos/pictures. Wahahaha! Therapy ok.